You know how they say “a problem shared is a problem halved”? Well, today I am sharing my problems with you, because frankly, I have had a crappity crap week and I NEED TO VENT TO SOMEONE! Normally I would vent to Genine, and she would listen and then pretty much tell me to harden the f#%k up. But as she is off swanning around in the UK on chief WAG duties, I have been left to my own “glass half empty” devices.
So people, it’s over to you to be my sounding board today. Apologies. And here we have it … Alli’s Friday JUST VENTING explosion!
1. Man flu BE GONE! Yes, despite being a woman I clearly have the man flu, as I have been complaining like, well, a man. A lot. Whiney whiner. Cough. Splutter. I really don’t have time to be sick, or, frankly, the emotional capacity to push through it. Oh and did I mention that I have also lost my voice? That’s just fabulous! I’m tired of coughing all night. Tired of sore throats like I’m swallowing razor blades. And tired of not being able to stop and rest to actually recover. Cough. Splutter. (That’s me below, without the beard!)
2. And while I’m at it, bugger off rash! But not just any kind of rash, a manky bloody rash – how dare you invade my chest, neck, shoulders and face? And why, pray tell, did you have to be some kind of superhero rash that doesn’t respond to creams, tablets or steroids? Oh and while I’m at it – would every sick bastard on the east side of Brisbane please STOP GOING TO THE DOCTOR! I have called three doctors this week – all booked up. Selfish sick people.
3. This is to the person who wronged me in business this week – karma is coming to get you. Big time. That is all.
4. Now, Hudson, stop being so bloody rough! Yes, I know you’re three, but seriously, if you push / kick / hit me one more time … (insert empty threats here) …. And by the way, if I have to count to two and a half again this week, they will be carting mummy off to the funny farm and you’ll be left to make your own scrambled eggs. (PS – I do adore you, of course, Mummy is just having a moment.)
5. This one is aimed at the trash mags – sure, I like a bit of fact-free gossip and the odd trashy celebrity story every now and again. But do you REALLY have to plaster the front cover of EVERY bloody magazine in celebrities in their bikinis? They are too fat or too skinny or too bony or too freaky or too perfect or too curvy … and it is doing my head in! And it also may cause me to stop eating altogether. Please cease. Immediately. (Case in point …)
6. To the universe in general – please send us some money. We really could do with a helping hand, and my bank robbery plans aren’t going so well, on account of the man flu and everything. Why oh why doesn’t money have to make the world go round? Why can’t we live on love alone? Why, world, why? And yes, we are in a bit of a financial tight spot – donations gratefully received.
7. Now, this one is aimed firmly at Coles Supermarkets – shame on you for being so bloody deceitful! How can you claim “Baked today, sold today” and “Baked fresh in-store” when your bread is actually MADE IN IRELAND and comes out on a BOAT? WTF!!! Seriously cheeky and I’m not impressed. Good on Jeff Kennett for taking you to task over this one – hope the ACCC gets ya good! You can read all about it here.
8. And finally, to my dear friend who this week told me that our friendship is pretty much one-sided and made me cry … I AM SO SORRY! You’re right. I don’t mean to be a bad friend, I’m just really busy and really stressed and really overwhelmed and I’ll try harder. I’ll call more. I’ll be better. (Yep friends, I have been crying all week over this one – I feel awful!)
Ahhh, that’s better! Sometimes you just have to get stuff off your chest, don’t you? Now I can get on with the day. Just have to shake this damn man flu.
Would you like to get something off your chest? Vent away! Feels good … promise! And we’re all here to listen …
Alli x
{ 23 comments… read them below or add one }
Alli,
Point 8: There are friendships that are one sided. There are friendships that are give and take. There are friendships that are once in a blue moon, but you pick up and start talking from where you left off and it does not matter.
Friend mentioned in point 8 would have other people in their life to provide the balance. I need to work with you on recognising an opportunity to let a friendship turn into a reason or season one and love from afar without guilt, shame or remorse and walk away being completely ok with yourself.
Thanks for the opportunity to vent and I love Karma the most of everything on the planet.
Karma and I have become friends … I am relying on him on a FEW fronts actually. One person in particular has a GOOD does a coming! Ha! thanks for the lovely words Amanda! A xx
Cool Ali, are you lighter? Since you can’t scream and don’t have the energy to beat the crap out of a pillow, too ill to drink and still trying to hold it together may I suggest lots of that delicious, rich, chocolate icecream? You could eat that while reading my vents okay.
1. Why oh why does it rain every time I want to hold an event outdoors. Tomorrow night we are having a bon fire and if it ‘pisses on my party’ I won’t be happy. So weather man change your mind or you are in big trouble.
2. To my gorgeous husband who has left me for a few days. I can’t sleep! You need to come back or send me a double to fill the space in the bed that keeps me grounded, warm and comfortable.
3. School sucks! Writing and developing 8 new programs for next term when all I want to do is sit in the sun and read is bringing me down. Couldn’t they have all chosen programs I have already developed? Brain fade coming on.
4. I am sure they could make handbags out of my skin right now. I am hoping the ‘crocodile’ look is in because it seems no matter how much water I drink and moisturizer I slather on my body, I still look like a prune.
5. That’s it. Just a little vent over. Sorry Ali, life is pretty great for me.
I too have a friend touring with the choir. How exciting for them.
Natalie
LOVED your vent babe! Whats’ relative to your world is relative to your world – I’m thrilled this is all you have to vent about ha! xxx
Oh Alli
Hope you are now feeling lots better:)
What a lot of gripes to be shouldering, hope the Universe lets you release some of them.
Please let me know if you would like to borrow my oil difusser…it really does work:) Hugs and tickles
Thanks lovely Marney – still sick!!! But a lot of it is emotions from a really awful week. Another few days in bed … xx
Hi Alli,
Great rant. Hopefully you feel lighter and better now it’s been said and flushed from your system.
I bet your man flu will also disappear soon because often when we hold on to illness it’s because of trapped feelings.
Take care. Sip some nice tea and just allow yourself to be cranky. It’s OK.
Nika thank you for your lovely words … I can assure you there are a LOT of feelings and stress hidden in this man flu. That’s for sure! A x
I have a chance to vent and I’ve got nothing to vent about. Can I save this post for a later date? I know I’ll have heaps later but the sun’s out, work is mostly caught up and it’s time for lunch. Not much to complain about there.
Sorry you’re feeling shit. Perhaps you should forget about everything other than your darling son and take care of yourself. The universe will still listen and deliver even if you’re not looking.
Maureen – you can completely save this one up for a rainy ‘vent required’ day! Any time … A x
While we are at it i am pretty certain i can come up with a few
1. Why do you test me so fiercly universe. just when things get managable and there is light at the end of the tunnel my part time 24 hours a week job that is barely enough gets cut back to 16 hours over 4 days… all because the boss isn’t out doing his job of repping and getting new cutomers…
My survival instinct immediately throws my exciting plans of possibility in the near future onto the “no way can i afford it pile” and sends me out looking for another job working for a business owner who doesnt get the new way of doing business.
2. Why just when i get an exercise regime that i enjoy, do i get all light headed and nearly pass out when on the weights at the gym. I want to do this, why do you do this to me.
3. I’m sure there are others ….
ok vent over
Impressive vent Jenni – get it ALL off your chest. Yay! A x
Spent the evening at my girlfriend house solving the problems of the world over a bottle of Red. We spent some time excavating and unearthing my diamonds and gems and polishing them into a business…
Taking myself out to the world steping up and stepping out time to stop hiding my light under a bush…
We all have those days, pour another glass of wine, tomorrow is a new day, yippee!
Amen to that Nikki! A xx
Awww….big love! you know the way to handle this stuff is to remember to see it as life becoming living theatre
) this too shall pass, cheers Roni xx
Roni, I haven’t heard that before but I love it!! That’s JUST what I will do. A x
Totally get the friend thing. Trying to be all things to all people just isnt gonna work without failing miserably. Apologies to all my friends and family out there that I love dearly but dont have the chance to ring or spend time often enough with. I think of you, I do.
Right now am on a mission to slow the f*#@k down and only do whats most important. Hows that going for me?? Working on it.
Big hugs Alli. Doing the best you can and doing great. One day at a time and if youre sick, go with it. Rest is good. if things have to wait a week, the world wont end. It really wont.Promise.
Lots of love honey.
xxxx
Honey I am WITH YOU AND HEARING YOU! When you work it out = please please let me know! A x
Hugs to you and hope you feel better. I always have honey in tea when I have a cold or ‘flu, because it’s anti-bacterial and because it tastes nice and it makes me feel better. If you want to go the whole hog, honey mead or Drambuie is nice too.
I’m gonna vent about the person in my life who’s making me feel compressed and unhappy and shut down, by not listening, and not wanting to change. I’m also gonna vent about the other person – me – because I can’t seem to find a way around that and so for a while I was on an “upwards see the wonder” trip the last couple of days has been a “stop the world, I wanna get off” trip. I know at least half of it is me, but I just can’t think of a way around it. Aaaarrrrggghhh!! Frustration.
Okey dokey, I feel a bit better now, I accomplished getting the bali flags up and hopefully qi entering the house, and the heater’s on so hopefully warm will happen soon too, not sure whether alcohol will help, but I’m positive the chocolate earlier did…
Have a good one!!
You go Pauline – vent away here ANY DAY!!! And yes, chocolate and Drambuie will help. Oh, and honey … A xx
hang in there lovely chickie… i’m hearing you on all points
xxxxxxx
Mwah! Axxxx